Toilets, Toddlers, and Poor Elmo

What is the obsession with toilets? Today is the third time we have had to rescue various toys and books from the toilet in the last month. Yeah, I know bad Mommy, I should have instructed Dad to put locks on the toilets ages ago, but we never thought that Aidan, 17 months today, would have such an obsession with drowning Elmo. Or his blocks. Or the parenting books. But what is the fascination? Is it the water? He doesn't flush, thank God, so it can't be the sick joy of watching Elmo being sucked into a swirling vortex of doom. Not that I wouldn't mind seeing that after a marathon of Sesame Street. But it's not as if I let him watch too much TV. Because I'm a good Mommy. With no locks on her toilets.

Maybe it has to do with soaking objects in water. They say that toddlers are little scientists. Is he doing an experiment on Elmo? Like a Sesame Street version of the Titanic? How many parts of Elmo can take on water before he goes down? Which end will sink first? I wish I had a camera mounted in the bathroom, so I could see what he's babbling and the expression on his face as he does this. Not that I'm going to give him the chance to get to the toilet again, mind you.

Could the experiment be: How many objects you can jam into the small bowl of water before Mommy notices? Because it's not like the child has hours of play time with the bowl. I'll admit to a bit of chaos in our house now that I have 3 month old Abby to contend with, but I'm not THAT distracted! I mean come on!! Wasn't he just crawling? When did he suddenly become Flash Toddler? One moment he's playing with the blocks and Elmo, the next they're in the toilet!

While Aidan may have toddler super-speed, he has the one weakness all children have. He gets quiet when he's getting into trouble. This is a "silent" alarm for parents. This is also rule number one in parenting any child who has become mobile: If they go quiet and they're not asleep, they're up to something. Sometimes the "something" Aidan is up to can be darling, like reading a book to Elmo. So my alarm system also allows me to catch a precious moment I might have otherwise missed while doing laundry.

To solve the toilet issue, and better protect Elmo from anymore mishaps, I am going to ban Aidan from all the bathrooms instead of just locking the toilets. This way I don't have to try to teach Stephan some complex unlocking scenario while he does the male "I have to pee now" dance. Stephan could probably figure out how to work the lock, he's 10, but since he has the penchant for running to the bathroom at the last second , I don't know if he could do it in under 5 seconds. And I don't want to clean up if he can't. Although that in itself is like something from Fear Factor. Can he pop the toilet lock before he looses bladder control?

We're not going to put locks on, but rather change the doorknobs. You see, we have those lever type door knobs. They look nice but they're easy for a child to figure out. Round knobs are harder to grasp and rotate. (Plus the childproofing items for round doorknobs are cheaper than those created for lever handled doors.) Aidan will be in for a surprise the next time he decides to give Elmo a dunk. It will be my own experiment: "we've switched the old door knobs for these slippery smooth round ones. Let's see what Aidan does next."